Forgotten
by Jared
Summary: [CCD] Nokoru has amnesia, and loses the precious memories that he shared with Suoh. In time, Suoh also begins to forget the most precious memory of all... the reason why he chose to protect Nokoru. Will they regain their forgotten memories in time? Or wil


Forgotten  
Jared 

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Disclaimer:  
The following characters belong to CLAMP and are only borrowed for the fanfic. 

* * *

"Do I know you?" 

There was a startled gasp, and a face was pushed right in front of mine. "Kaichou, don't play games with me. Please, tell me you recognise me." The blue-haired boy seemed frantic for some reason. I shook my head a little, wincing at the pain that shot through my head as I moved. I wonder who he is. 

I noticed the black-haired boy standing some distance behind him. Shock was registered in his eyes for some reason. Do I know him? Perhaps I did, for if I had not, it was unlikely that he would be here to visit. The two of them seem dreadfully upset; I must have been on pretty good terms with them. 

"Kaichou, don't you remember anything? Don't you remember falling from the horse?" Great, just what I needed- more questions. As though my head wasn't in enough of a muddle- it just had to get better. 

"I'm sorry." I said softly; instinct drove me to be polite to the stranger- somehow I felt strangely reluctant to hurt him. It was almost as though I knew him. Yet I have no recollection of the past at all. Come to think of it, who am I? Hmm… the wristband says Imonoyama Nokoru; I guess that must be my name. 

Yet another man walked in, this time decked in the long white doctor's coat. He murmured something about having to give the patient a check- up; I guess that's me. Sure enough, he draws closer, pulling a torchlight out and shining it into my eyes, muttering to himself. Evidently there was something that caused the concern. 

Now he's scribbling something on that board at the end of the bed. I wonder what it says. Maybe he'll tell me what's going on soon; I guess all I can do is wait- someone has got to tell me about this sooner or later… 

"Doctor, what's wrong with him? Why doesn't he recognise us?" 

The doctor motioned the both of them out of the room. I watched them through the glass panel. For some strange reason, the darker boy turned to glance at me through that same pane, worry embedded in his eyes. Maybe things are worse than I imagined; but that can't be… I feel pretty fine, apart from a terrible headache and not remembering anything. Maybe that's bad enough. 

* * * * * 

The doctor looks grave. My heart nearly stopped when Kaichou didn't recognise me. How is that possible? After all we've been through he forgets about me because of a silly accident. The idiot- he should know better than to go after runaway horses even if it had a girl on its back; after all, he's never been very athletic. 

Amnesia, he says. He needs lot of care and attention- jeez, I sure couldn't guess that. I almost felt like throttling him- why can't he tell me something useful for a change? He may never regain his memory? No! I refuse to accept that. He can't just forget everything! Maybe that blow was harder than I knew. 

I'm not even sure what really happened actually. One minute we were walking in the forest, next minute Kaichou just bolted, running towards the stables. I'm not sure how he does it- he just knew instinctively that there was a lady in trouble- this time it was a girl on a nervous horse. Our presence did not help matters either; the horse bolted, the girl clinging on to it for a dear life. 

Of course, being Kaichou, he just leapt on another horse and gave chase. In the mysterious way Kaichou knows about women in trouble, he gains athletic ability whenever they were in trouble- his newfound ability was that of riding. Needless to say, I nearly died of worry when I saw him dash on the back of a huge stallion, and gave chase myself. 

Some distance ahead, I spotted the runaway horse and the stallion on which I attention was locked on. They were pulling alongside- no, he jumped onto its back! Is he crazy or what? 

Luckily, the horse slowed; evidently one of them did something to calm it down. NO! Don't do that you idiot! The silly girl leapt of the horse and landed with a thump. That was enough to cause the nervous horse to start its frantic run once more. I swear, I'm so going to give her a piece of my mind when this is over. 

The next thing I knew, Kaichou had fallen of the horse after being knocked out by a low branch. Somehow, I seemed to be travelling too slowly; we couldn't get to the hospital quick enough for me. 

And then, I find that he lost his memory. How could this be? He has to remember, he has to! 

* * * * * 

Isn't it strange how someone can just slip back to life so easily? It's already been 3 months since I found myself at the hospital. There were lots of people who were worried about me, especially the ladies. I must have been on good terms with them. 

There's this girl that's really shy- Yoko, if I remember correctly. She seems ashamed of something, and seems shunned by the rest. I tried to talk to her, but she ran away before I had said more than hello. 

I tried to ask Suoh about her, and I can swear he snorted. I guess he didn't like Yoko. Strange- that was the first time I ever heard Suoh show his disapproval towards someone; there must be some cause of tension between them. Maybe I can resolve their dispute- if only I can find out what it was; Akira seems reluctant to talk. 

* * * * * 

Of all the people to ask about, it had to be Yoko. I can't believe it, even after what she did to him he's still concerned about her. I guess that's Kaichou for you, always concerned about others. He hasn't changed that much really, even with his memory loss. Still, I have to say, things are now different. 

Kaichou seems less reserved now. Maybe it really was better for him to have lost his memory. Luckily, there hasn't been any assassination or kidnapping attempts so far- I bet knowing about the danger that he lives in would crush him- and force him back into his old life. 

I guess he's happier now… but I wish he didn't lose his memory. How can I possibly explain the difference? It's subtle, but omnipresent. Kaichou does things in what seem to be the same way, yet the differences really get to me. 

For example, he's with others more frequently now. I wish it didn't have to be that way. I miss the days where we used to be together all the time. Sure, it gives me more time to be with Nagisa, since I understand he wants to be alone sometimes. Still, a part of me yearns for the days that have passed- days where we were together, the best of friends. Somehow, in losing his memory, Kaichou and I have drifted apart; maybe it's because I was the first real friend he made because of his own desire to remain isolated from the rest to protect them. 

With the loss of his memory, there was nothing to hold him back from making friends- neither the Rijichou nor I had the heart to lock him back in that cage; all of us agreed that it was for the best. 

Yet I miss him- my best friend, Imonoyama Nokoru. 

* * * * * 

I can't believe what I was thinking. How could I let him walk alone? Note to self- regardless of what happens, never let Kaichou out of your sight. Even if you have to tail him, never, ever let him go out alone. 

I have to admit, I'm pretty amazed. He has the amazing ability to get hurt. How in the world did he manage to tumble down the steps, and all the way too? He must be really strong to survive that. Not surprisingly, he wound up in the hospital, the second time in 3 months. 

What's really surprising, though, is the fact that he regained his memory. I mean, it sounds like a fairy tale- one knock causes amnesia, two knocks returns what's lost. Only I suppose it didn't really succeed. 

While it did give Kaichou his memory back, it failed to bring back our relationship. Things are now strained between us, since Kaichou is afraid to continue his friendship with others and yet at the same time is ashamed to be with me. I'm not sure I understand why myself. There's really nothing to be ashamed of; I would have done the same if I lost my memory- anyone who was friendly would be easy to befriend and get close to, whereas sulky people like me are often left alone. It's not really his fault I guess… Still, I wonder how things became like that… I want my friend back. 

* * * * * 

I feel so ashamed now. How could I forget Suoh? We were the best of friends, closer than brothers… Yet I forgot all about him. 

What was most unforgivable was the fact that I totally neglected him despite the fact that he was doing his best to help. I remember him coming to the hospital to visiting, trying all he could to jog my memory. 

I'm not too sure what happened, but after some time he stopped trying to help me regain my memory. Instead, he would merely come in and keep me company, instead of wasting time on the past; it was the present that he lived for. 

Yet while I was busy making friends, totally oblivious to the danger that I was exposing them to, Suoh was doing all he could to continue to help, yet never intruding. No, he just stayed at the sidelines the way he always did, receding into the background, letting me make new friends of my own, at his expense. 

Now that I've regained my memory, I find myself recoiling from both my new friends and Suoh. How could I face either of them now, knowing that contact with one would endanger whilst contact with the other would be unfair, treating Suoh as nothing more than a fall-back, returning only when all my options were down? No, no matter how much I long to, I've got to keep my distance. It's only fair that I do so, for I have chosen- even when I lost my memory- my new friends over him, and that's the decision I have to live with all my life. 

It's just one of those things that can never be recovered once lost. No matter how much I regret it, I can never turn back again. 

* * * * * 

Suoh made his way down the familiar hallway. It had become a habit for him to drop by to visit Nokoru when he was let off from school, though Nokoru still seemed distant, though polite. Unknown to Nokoru, Suoh detested the coldness, and was breaking down from inside. 

A swift blur raced past the hallway. Suoh stopped dead in his tracks; the signs were indicating possible danger. He made his way swiftly towards Nokoru's room like a torpedo, homing in on his friend like a torpedo. 

He opened the door cautiously, afraid of disturbing his friend, yet anxious about the figure he had seen. The billowing curtain was all he saw. 

* * * * * 

His eyes flickered ever so slightly. That was enough to get their attention. Instantly, the guards perked up and began to eye his every move suspiciously. 

//_ Oh no, this place is looking too familiar for my liking… I've been here before- Suoh has to. I wonder if he remembers it…_// he thought wryly, for when he had awakened, he found himself staring at the same furnished room he had been imprisoned on that memorable day a few summers ago. 

The men around him began bustling around. One of them left the room, evidently to inform his old nemesis that he had awakened. A tiny prick in the back of his hand told the story of his capture. 

As before, Casablanca stepped lightly into the room. Keeping the façade that he often kept for the benefit of kidnappers, Nokoru merely smiled and greeted her like an old friend. Experience had taught him that to show fear to a kidnapper was to offer an assassin an aim at the heart, and Nokoru had often tried his best to keep that act of nonchalance up in their presence, though he was terribly afraid inside. 

There was a brief silence. The men were dismissed, probably stationed outside the door to give them more privacy. Casablanca offered no apologies, only explanations on why he had been brought before them, an explanation unfounded; since he had heard it all many summers ago. Yet as she spoke, Nokoru could detect a slight tremor in her voice, and her eyes pleaded with him for the forgiveness that she longed to ask yet was to ashamed to beg for. 

That caught Nokoru's sympathy- he understood how it felt, for those were the exact feelings that he was burdened with when being around Suoh. Yet he knew that in spite of that, he could not let himself be swayed by his emotions; he had a duty to perform. 

Once more, he could only decline as politely as he could, trying to keep the note of sadness out of his voice. //_ This is so stupid. _// he couldn't help but think, //_ how many times do they have to force her to come after me? I guess it's the same number of times I have to reject her proposal. Haven't they learnt by now that I can't agree? We've wasted so many years going round and round in circles… it's such a waste. _// 

He watched as she tried every trick in the book; yet he could tell that she was holding back, trying not to use Suoh as a bargaining tool- for that he was grateful. When all else failed, she sighed, and played her trump card, confident that he would give in this time. Yet she was surprised when he replied in a monotone, "It's no use. It won't work this time. Suoh and I… have some… problems, and it wouldn't change things even if you were to bring him here. Not that that would be possible- he's too good for that." He offered the only protection he could- a lie that would probably keep his best friend out of this mess he was embroiled in. 

Fortunately, he had been avoiding Suoh for a while now, and Casablanca evidently believed that there was some truth in his words, for she dropped the subject and racked her mind for something else to force him to agree. Unable to think of anything, she had to beat a hasty retreat back to her room, and sieve out all the data that she had on him to try to find his weakness. 

* * * * * 

He's in here somewhere. He has to be! This is the last place I can search. Please let him be here. 

A guard. Good. Guards are such useful sources of information. Anyway, guards are only stationed around places that are worth guarding. Maybe Kaichou really is here after all. 

* * * * * 

That was easy enough. I would have been a disgrace if I had given in as easily. I guess they don't train them like they used to. 

What is it with them and the top floor? Isn't the trapdoor still there? Then we can still escape, can't we? This time, though, they'll expect me from the elevator, so I'll have to sneak in somehow. I suppose the stairs are a way better option. 

* * * * * 

I saw him sitting by the window looking out, his face shuttered with sadness. Why does he like looking out of windows so much? That I think I'll never understand. He turned slowly to look at me, and for an instant, I saw his eyes blaze with emotion- yet I must have imagined it, for in the next second, it was fear that showed quite plainly in his eyes. 

"Suoh, you've got to get out of here! Now!" he cried, pushing me to the door as he spoke. This time it was my turn to try to resist, the way he had many years ago. Being stronger of the two, it was not surprising that he could push me no further when I dug my heels into the ground. 

I locked gazes with him, willing him to understand. A slow smile spread across his face. Maybe he does understand after all. Within seconds, we were out of the room, racing towards freedom. Yet there was a figure- all too familiar- blocking our escape. Casablanca. 

There were guns, so many guns. I reached for a throwing knife, but a shot caught me in my hand, and the knife fell to the ground, useless. 

I could only watch helplessly on as Kaichou began negotiating with them, with me serving as a weapon against him. Never would I have believed that someday I would betray my one like this. 

* * * * * 

It's over, really over now. I guess I have no choice but to give them what they want. Yet I know I can't do that, no matter how much I want to, for I can't betray my family for my friend. Neither can I watch while they torture my friend. This is all so hard. 

Wait… Suoh has smoke bombs… maybe that'll be enough. I pretend to negotiate with them, taking my time- yet knowing that time was running out. If I did not get Suoh to the hospital soon enough, it might be too late. 

Under the pretence of looking at Suoh's hand, I slid my hand into his pocket, careful to use my back to shield my actions from them. I noticed his eyes widening- wait, was that a smile I see forming? Maybe we still have it after all. 

* * * * * 

Now I understand how Suoh feels when he defeats an enemy. It's exhilarating. Someday I'm going to have to get him to teach me. 

Pound, pound, pound. Are those really footsteps? It sounds almost like gunfire, threatening and ever closing in. I know, I'm slowing us both down, but Suoh seems to know what I'm thinking, for his hand closed over my own, and he half dragged me along as we went. 

Maybe it's time for me to use the kites. Such a pity they haven't been tried yet. I suppose this is as good a time as any for a test flight! 

* * * * * 

Can't they tell the difference between me and Suoh? Shooting at him isn't going to change matters- will it? I wouldn't know. All I know is that if they did anything of the sort, I swear I'm going to get back at them no matter what I do. That is a promise. 

No, they actually manage to shoot the kite. I hope Suoh isn't hurt. 

* * * * * 

Why does this thing move so slowly? Jet packs would be better, though they're not as compact and travel handy. 

There, got him. Uh oh, I think we're too heavy. We're starting to plummet. Suoh seems to be trying to let go. Is he crazy or something? He'll die if he falls from this height! 

* * * * * 

The idiot, fancy trying to hold on to me. I don't want to cause him to die with me. One death is quite enough. Darn! When did he learn how to hold on with such a strong grip? I just can't get free. 

"Let go, you idiot! Or we'll **both** fall!" 

I knew it- it didn't work. He's not letting go. He really is too stubborn for his own good, you know what I mean? 

"I'm not letting go- not now, not ever. So live with it!" he shouted over the whistling wind, flinging out a challenge to me to defy him. 

For some reason, I felt awfully touched. Now I remember why I had always given my all to protect him- he had always done the same for me. 

* * * * * 

The ground's coming nearer. I have to get him above me. I guess this is the time to test out what I have got in me, eh? Only this is one challenge I'm not looking forward to. 

There, now that he's up, it's time for the next step. Touchdown! 

* * * * * 

I don't believe this! I **won't** believe this. That nutcase actually hit the ground first to cushion my fall. Why is he always doing things like that? What is he trying to prove? Great! There's a car coming. I bet it's Casablanca. 

Isn't that Akira? CLAMP vehicles? Now we can go back to the hospital **again.**

* * * * * 

"Don't you ever do that again, you hear?" 

The mischievous rascal merely smiles. "I'll try." He teased. 

Tell me again why I'm stuck with him. 


End file.
